Gimme Some Oven

10 Things I’m So Looking Forward To About Being Married

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Barclay and Ali Martin

Goodness, time has flown.

After getting engaged five months ago, our wedding day is now exactly 3 weeks away. And I couldn’t be more ready this amazing man who — in two short years — has become my hands-down favorite person to hang out with, my closest confidante, my easiest travel partner, my most faithful encourager, my best IRL inspiration for serving people well, and the best friend I’ve ever had.

I love this man more than words can say, and am so ready to be his wife!

(Well, I should probably say heart-“ready”. Our wedding check-list still has a ways to go, whoops. ?)

Seriously, though. After having spent almost all of my adult life hoping to find this kind of love, it still feels so surreal and crazy that this story is finally unfolding right now before our eyes. And that after nearly two years together, we’re soon going to be taking these life-changing vows to stay close to one another for a lifetime, for better and for worse, no matter what. We’ve been talking a lot about our vows lately, and definitely feel the weight and wonder of them in a way we couldn’t have imagined 15 years ago. And, how they also just feel like the most profound gift, promising this adventure of a lifetime ahead. So amazing.

We can’t wait!

So anyway, in all of the flurry of everything happening around here behind the scenes these past few months, I realize that I haven’t really shared much about our engagement on the blog lately. (Time = flew!)  So before this sweet season of being engaged passes me by, I thought I would pop in and share a few quick posts with you this month about what’s been on my mind lately. “Fun secrets”, as Barclay likes to call these sort of conversations. ?

To begin, I thought I’d start with a snippet from some things I’ve been journaling about what I’m looking forward to in married life! There are, of course, dozens of things I’m excited to experience. But since I kind of have a thing for lists of 10, here goes…

Barclay Martin, Ali Martin, Henry and Fiona


1. Finally Living Together

Probably the most obvious change I’m looking forward to is finally living together.

For various reasons, Barclay and I decided early on that we wanted to hold off on moving in together until we actually got married. And I’m really glad that we stuck to it. But after being together for two years — man — we are both just sooo ready to finally to finally live in one place. ? No more parting ways at night. No more texting each other first thing in the morning to see how we’re doing. No more “his place” and “my place”. No more paying double rent/mortgage when we basically spend all of our downtime together. No more shuttling the dogs back and forth.

We’re ready to finally call the same place home. And do all of that good home-y stuff together. ?

Seriously — it’s the silliest, tiniest stuff around the house that I can’t wait for. Like, folding laundry together on a Sunday afternoon. Figuring out who will feed the dogs their breakfast each morning. Seeing all of his guitar cases lined up on the wall next to mine. Finally combining our Netflix and Hulu and Spotify accounts. Stocking the fridge with both his and my favorite foods. And — more than anything — finally starting and ending every single day with him snuggled up by my side.

I know that combining households will be a fair share of work (we’re already doing some epic minimizing that would make Marie Kondo so proud). And that there will be the learning curve that comes with figuring out how to be “roommates” (and let’s be real — live with a boy!).

But bring it on. I can’t wait.

2. Becoming The Martins

Lots of you have asked whether or not I’ll be changing my name when I get married. And, after going back and forth on the decision early on, my final answer is an enthusiastic YES.

In 3 weeks, I’m going to be Ali Martin! (<– Which still feels so crazy to hear and see in writing, btw!)

I think that a decade ago, changing my name would have felt like a no-brainer for me. But I’ll be honest — after 34 years as an Ebright, it feels wild to consider changing the name that I’ve become so attached to both personally and professionally. (Plus — yeesh — the process of changing it on 5 million pieces of paperwork sounds exhausting. If any of you have tips on doing that quickly, send ’em my way!)

Here’s the thing I realized though — I absolutely love the idea of us being The Martins!


  1. It just sounds so fun to be the ______s!  For as long as we’ve been together, we’ve always known as “Barclay and Ali”. But I get goofy-excited about the idea of friends being able to say, when they’re organizing a dinner party or something, “Let’s invite the Martins!” or “Here come the Martins!” or “Did you hear about those crazy Martins?” ? Even just this week, we received our first card in the mail addressed to Barclay and Ali Martin, and I totally got choked up. It looked so perfect!
  2. I love that Martin is so easy to spell.  After having had to spell my last name my entire life, and being mistaken for Ali E. Bright, Ali Ebrite, Ali Albright, Ali Elbright, etc. more times than I can count, having an easy last name sounds pretty dang great.
  3. I absolutely love the family that comes with the name. Seriously, I hit the absolute jackpot when it comes to future in-laws, and can’t wait to officially join their family. And I feel like it will be so special to join them in name as well. Plus, they have all sorts of cute “Martin” family jokes and traditions that I’m excited to carry on with Barclay, like toasting with sparkling Martinelli’s every Christmas when they’re together.

For sure, I know there will be a part of me that will always feel a little sad to leave behind my Ebright-ness. But I’m excited about this new name, and the new season and certain adventures ahead that it represents. ??

3. Adopting A Sweet Fur Baby

Speaking of Martins, I’m also very excited to soon be officially adopting another new Martin into my life when we get married — Fiona, Barclay’s rescue dog.

Oh my goodness, this furry dog is such a sweetheart. She absolutely loves people and other dogs, her little tail wags more than any dog I know, she has the most gentle disposition, and she loves nothing more in life than a good belly rub. Thankfully, she and Henry also hit it off from the moment they met, and she is the absolute calm yin to his crazy yang. We have kept them together 24/7 for probably about a year now — bouncing back and forth between our two houses — because they just seem to love being together.

So thankful that they’ve become BFFS…and are soon going to become sibs! ???

4. Having Someone To Share The Load

I have to imagine that this is one of the best parts of any partnership. But man, especially after having spent literally my entire adult life handling 100% of all “adulting” responsibilities on my own, the thought of finally having someone to share those with sounds like absolute icing on the cake of marriage.

Truly. For better or worse, I feel like I’ve been doing everything on my own for so long that I actually have no expectations anymore of anyone else jumping in to help. I’ve learned how to take care of my place (and buy and sell a house) on my own, I’ve learned how to start and grow a business on my own, I’ve learned how to surround myself with community I love on my own, I’ve learned how to manage my finances and mow a good-lookin’ lawn and travel internationally and wire a light fixture and raise a dog on my own. And just basically — find my peace with doing the single life solo.

But now, when Barclay steps in to share the load — like when he jumps up to do the dishes, or takes my car to the shop to fix a flat tire, or coordinates a gathering with friends — it just feels like this fabulous surprise. Like an extra bonus to this relationship of ours that I already love so much. And goodness, it always always means so much.

The same goes with helping carry just the general emotional load of life. I’ve been so fortunate to be surrounded by an incredible group of friends and family who have been there for basic life stuff that has happened over the years — from being there with high-fives and happy hours to celebrate the good moments, to hugs and long chats during the hard moments, to just the sheer gift of their presence each week through the in between. They’ve been an amazing support in my life. And thankfully — those good friends are still just as near. But I’m so grateful to now additionally have Barclay nearby as my “constant” through it all — literally checking in on me multiple times a day, giving lots of hugs every day, and cheering me on every day. It’s amazing how even the hardest moments seem so much more do-able with him by my side.

So yeah — I’m sure that those “That’s the wrong way to load the dishwasher!” moments in our marriage will eventually come. ? But right now, I feel like I’m still just so dang thrilled and thankful to have someone willing to load the dishwasher.

And I look forward to doing whatever I can to lighten his load as well.

5. Starting To Have Stuff That’s Ours

One of the interesting things we’ve noticed about meeting later in life is that we spend most of our time introducing one another to our favorite people, places and things. For example, it’s usually, “Let’s hang out with your friends on Saturday” or “How about we cook dinner my house” or “Could you bring over your tape measurer?” or “How about we use my blender for the party?”….which is all good! I love that we both came into this relationship with full lives and houses and social circles and schedules.

But moving forward — and literally moving in together — we’re both really excited to start collecting new things and experiences and friendships and memories that are ours.  Together. Finding a new home that we pick out together. Meeting brand new people as a couple together. Exploring cities that are brand new to us for the first time together. Buying new furniture and cars and groceries and plants together. 

We’re in no hurry with this, and know that there will be plenty of stuff thats ours to collect in time. But it’s one small yet significant thing about marriage that we’re both really looking forward to.

6. Hosting Guests Together

Having people over is one of my favorite things on earth. But ever since Barclay and I started dating, we’ve learned that co-hosting and having people over together is totally one of our favorite things to do as a couple.

Whether it’s having our family over for brunch, or entertaining a small group for happy hour, or cooking up a big dinner for friends, or hosting birthday parties or wedding showers or house shows or whatever the occasion — we’ve had a blast co-hosting all sorts of events over the past two years as a couple. We both share a total passion for good people and good food being gathered around the table, and all of the memories that can be made during those moments. And I’ve gotta say — my handsome and charming fiancé is a fantastic host, and always makes people around him feel so welcomed and at ease. So entertaining has been a natural fit for us together, and something we look forward to doing more and more once we are married.

Also — as someone who’s had a 1-bedroom apartment for the past 7 years — I’m super excited that the next home we move into together (probably this fall) is finally going to have a guest bedroom! So we can’t wait to be able to host overnight friends and family who are in from out of town together too! We like to say that it’s going to be our own Air A&B (<– get it? ?), and can’t wait to hopefully make all of our guests feel nice and welcomed (and full of delicious food) in our home.

7. …Kids?

Oh yes, we’ve already fielded lots of questions from people wondering if we’d like to have kids.

My answer: Yes, we’re hoping to in a few years.

Barclay’s answer: “2 to 10!” (<– His favorite thing to say, which comes up pretty much daily. ? For example, when it’s time to do dishes, “Man, just imagine how fast these will go with our 2 to 10 kids!” Or when a travel brochure comes in the mail, “Gotta bookmark this one for Family Vacation 2027 with those 2 to 10 kids!” Or when we’re surveying our mounting instrument collection, “I mean, we’ve gotta have a guitar for each of our 2 to 10 kids!”)

Finally answer: We will have to see what life brings us. ?

8. The “For Life”-Ness Of It All

This may be an obvious one, but dang, it’s the part of marriage that still blows my mind:

The “from this day forward…all the day of our lives…’til death do us part” part.

The whole idea of staying together for a lifetime. ?

By this point in life, Barclay and I both know that the one true certainty of our future together is change. We know that life is going to change, and grow, and challenge, and stretch, and shape the two of us into totally different individuals over the course of our lives. And we’ve seen firsthand with friends’ marriages what a challenge that can be at times, and have no rose-colored glasses about the kind of work it takes to navigate through hard and disorienting and difficult times together as a couple. We’ve already weathered a few of thos hard seasons together ourselves.

But, at ages 34 and 39, I have to say that we’ve also been privileged to be there with many of our incredible married friends and family (including both sets of parents who have been married 40+ years) who have shown us how powerful, and awesome, and redeeming, and fun, and adventurous, and freaking beautiful marriage can be. And how thrilling it can be to grow and change alongside one another…and keep doing that over…and over…and over…for life.

I still remember that during the weekend after Barclay proposed, he kept asking me again and again how I was doing. And — besides grinning galore and feeling the absolute happiest I’d ever felt in my life — I kept telling him that my heart just felt so flooded with peace. I had completely loved the relationship we’d had for the past 1.5 years. But the second we looked one another in the eye and confirmed that this is what we wanted for a lifetime, something in my heart just clicked into place. I’m imagining that our wedding will be yet one click deeper. But even more, I’m looking forward to a future of re-committing ourselves to one another again and again. For better and for worse…for richer and poorer…in sickness and in health…click, click, click.

All the days of our lives.

9. Learning How To Love

On that note, as cheesy as it may sound…one of the things I’m most looking forward to about our future is simply learning how to love better. Specifically, how to love this amazing fiancé-soon-to-be-husband of mine better and better.

I feel like the past two years have been this wild and wonderful introductory crash course in learning how to love one another well. And while some people may be quick to dismiss the first few years of a relationship as just the “honeymoon” bliss period, I’ve gotta be honest and say that I’m actually really proud of us because we haven’t just coasted on all the feelz. We tried to be intentional about digging in and learning how to communicate and care for and love one another. We decided to start meeting with a counselor together regularly about 6 months into dating, which has been super helpful and fascinating and challenging and good. We’ve both dug deep into the Enneagram (I’m a 3 and Barclay’s a 9!), which I swear has felt equivalent to years of counseling on its own both for us as individuals and together as a couple. We’ve had countless conversations (more “fun secrets”!) with close friends, who have been the absolute best at encouraging us and talking sense into us and being our most faithful cheerleaders along the way. And — probably more than anything — Barclay and I have just tried to check in with one another regularly about “us” and how we’re doing and how we can better care for one another.

And man, it has been so freaking cool. Also hard at times, of course. But overall, so cool, and so exciting to slowly watch ourselves get better at loving one another. ? It definitely feels like this new world of baby steps — trying to communicate in that next argument a little bit better, or jumping up and helping with that task a little sooner, or trying to avoid doing that thing that annoys them the next time, or surprising one another with something special more often…etc. Every week, I feel like we take a few steps forward, and usually a few steps back. But it has been a blast, and hands-down, my favorite “learning experience” ever.

So excited about a lifetime of that ahead.

10. Keep On Keepin’ On

Last one! (You guys are champs if you made it this far.)

With all of these conversations popping up about marriage lately, it’s been tempting for us to buy into the idea of marriage being this huge “starting line”, and get swept up in wedding planning and dreaming up big plans and resolutions for the future. And it is the beginning of an exciting and different new season. But when comes down to the foreseeable future, most of our conversations circle back to the same bottom line:

We’re really just excited to keep doing what we’re doing. ?

To keep soaking up lots of quality time with one another and with the awesome people in our lives. To keep dreaming up exciting new adventures both near and far (and then actually booking them). To keep encouraging one another to do work that is challenging and meaningful. To keep cranking up Spotify and pulling one another in close for surprise kisses while we do the dishes each night. To keep seeking and having conversations about faith together. To keep occasionally splurging on a new bottle of scotch. To keep having “reading dates” on the couch all cozied up with our pups and some good books. To keep trying to live below our means, and be generous in giving together. To keep making one another lots and lots of espresso (his specialty, my fave) and lemony arugula salads (my specialty, his fave). To keep forgiving one another, and trying to do better next time together. And on and on…

…we’re just love this idea that we get to keep building on this sweet little foundation that we have started together.

Who knows what the future will bring. But today, I know for certain that I’m feeling so thankful for this place where our marriage is beginning. And this handsome, amazing man I get to marry. ?

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71 comments on “10 Things I’m So Looking Forward To About Being Married”

  1. I love this whole post. I hope you re-visit it in a year or two to see if anything’s changed or how you feel about different aspects. :)
    PS Last year my partner and I adopted a rescue dog named… FIONA this year. It was the first time either of us had ever had a dog, before. And it’s brought us together in such a wonderful way.

  2. I love this post so much! All of these things….YES. I didn’t get married until I was 35, and like you said, everything felt like such a gift. You’re going to love it.

    Soak up these last 3 weeks!

  3. Awwww! I love this post it reminded me of all the things I was excited about when I first got married and all the combined things and shared responsibilities I take for granted now. This was a wonderful post congratulations!

  4. My husband and I just got married in October and I can relate to all of the above. Especially the moving in together. We were together for 8 years and didn’t live together before marriage and it was so much fun (and still is!) moving in together

  5. For name-changing, I used Hitchswitch (from The Knot). It was like $60 and an easy online process. They send you all the forms you need, plus some generic letters, that all you have to do is sign and mail. You also get prepaid envelopes!

    My other recommend is to start making a list now of all the things that come to you in your name. Then as you change them, you can check them off. Basically, every time I got an email or a piece of mail, I added the sender to the list. I actually had all my name change stuff done within a couple months after the wedding!

    BEST WISHES for a healthy and happy life together :)

  6. awww I love this Ali! Congrats, I can’t wait to see wedding photos. xoxo

  7. So happy for you (whose recipes have been such a help to me!) and so moved and inspired by this post, one of the best ever, on any blog I’ve read over the years.

    Your intentionality in learning ways to learn about and lcare for each other, rather than coasting on feels, is so very wise. I’ve been married 18 years and have struggled with how to get the emotional support I need while offering it to my husband in a way that he can accept. To have a true partner and best friend in life is what it’s all about.

    I wish you both the absolute best!!

  8. Love this, Ali! I became a Martin through marriage almost 4 years ago and I love it! My maiden name was also not easy to spell (or pronounce) and life as a Martin has been grand. It’s been so lovely to follow along with you on your journey and I wish you and Barclay all the best in the coming years while you cook, travel, and grow, with your 2-10 kids! ;)

  9. This was exactly what I needed to read today. My boyfriend and I have been dating for only 4 months, but we’re intentionally learning how to be better together, how to communicate and love each other better. It’s been hard, but so worth it, and I know we’re working to build a foundation to last a lifetime. Thank you for sharing! This is so encouraging, and it’s good to know we’re not alone.

    PS – The boyfriend and I have made your ginger molasses cookies the past 2 weekends – they’re his absolute favorite!

    • I’ve been reading through these comments and this makes me think, Ali (and Lydia) – what are your tips for learning how to communicate and love each other better?

  10. Ali, I love what you’ve said in this post. I did not marry until age 63, and even though it’s now been almost 9 years, I still feel wonder at being married. Marriage is a definite adjustment, but it’s worth doing whatever it takes to be and stay married. Wish I had a solution for your name changes, but I don’t, other than just do it. The most important thing you have in your marriage is the commitment. That commitment will help with letting go of petty annoyances – seeing them for what they really are – and keeping on keeping on. My husband and I make sure we tell each other that we love the other, every single night. Not only does that keep us up to date on the most important stuff, it also reminds us of our commitment, which helps with letting go when necessary. I think you already get it that what is most important is the marriage, not the wedding. I wish the two of you many years of happiness together. And yes, it’s fun getting an easy name (I went from Lakatos to Stone in the process).

  11. Love this so, so much. You will love living together. We waited too and it was just the best ever. I’m so excited for you guys! ❤️

  12. Your love for Barclays pours out of this post like sunshine! Thank you for sharing with us! Name change tip from a newlywed: it’s gonna take time. The forms at the social security office and DMV are relatively simple :) it’s gonna be a little strange to have a new identity – but in a good way. XO!

  13. I love this post so much! I can totally resonate with so many of these things when I was engaged!!! Congrats! Have fun! I am so excited for you to not have to drive home each night separately but get to go home together! It is the best feeling!!


  14. The work you are doing now to learn how to care and communicate will pay many, many dividends down the road. How wonderful that you are being intentional about that now, as you’ll be happy for those tools when the bumps in the road inevitably come (but may they be few and far between!) Best wishes to you and Barclay for a wonderful wedding and future together!

  15. Ali, congratulations! I’m a long time reader of your blog and have made many many recipes – most recently, margaritas :) I smiled REAL BIG when I got to this line: “We’re really just excited to keep doing what we’re doing.” because that is quite literally a line directly out of our own wedding vows. We felt exactly the same on the eve of our wedding when we wrote our vows together – and I promise you I have looked at my husband after six years and a house and a dog and two babies and some rough patches and said, “remember our vows…keep doing what we’re doing…?” and used that as a starting point for some really good soul-searching and marital growth conversations. As in, “hey, we’re off track a little because things are nutty and life is life…so what do we need to shift a little to go back to that? ” All that to say, good choice of words. :) I hope this time right now continues to stand as a “hey, remember when? Are we still on track?” kind of beacon like it does for us!

  16. Great post! So excited and happy for you!

  17. You guys sound like like you’re perfect for each other. Very happy for you both. Congratulations. :)

  18. How happy I am for you both! I love being married (2nd time – 8 years in July). Anybody who has nothing good to say about marriage obviously didn’t marry the right fella. Mine is the best – we are like peas & carrots (Jenny – Forrest Gump reference!). Anyway, congratulations and best wishes. Of course the 4-legged love is a bonus! God bless you both. And thanks for your awesome website :)

  19. well written—-we wish you all the best and if you need another babysitter for the 2 to 10—-grandma Sally is here
    we didn’t get married until I was 30 and we are celebrating 40 this year—the time does fly by

  20. My cheeks literally hurt from smiling so wide. I am over the moon for both of you and can’t wait to see what the future holds for The Martins! PS: I’m a little jealous of that one. There’s no such thing as The Della Croce’s sadly. ;-) Xoxoxoxo

  21. I have followed your blog for a couple of years and love your recipes. As a way of encouragement I just wanted to say that next month my husband and I will celebrate 28 years of marriage. He is my best friend. Marriage is a lot of work. Compromise and picking your battles is the key. I wish you all the best.

  22. I don’t think I’ve ever posted before, but I loved reading this. Marriage is beautiful, wonderful and sometimes really hard. But it’s so worth it. I’ve been married to my best friend for 22 years. We have four beautiful kids who try me to the max. Marrying your best friend is such a blessing. I wish you the very best!

  23. What a wonderful way with words. May your list include lots of blessings from God as is his way to a full life together.

  24. Being married for 25 years, married life has its ups and downs, mostly ups thought!!! BEST WISHES ON
    YOUR NUPTIALS!!! Q viva el amor <3

  25. Thank you for this wonderful, honest post. I came to your site a few years ago because of countless amazing recipes, and have loved following the story of the two of you along the way. I’m getting married in October, and this post has really helped bring me back to earth and remind me WHY I’m getting married in the first place. It’s so easy to get swept up into the wedding day and planning, and forget about the relationship and the purpose of the marriage. I’m glad to hear that you also went back and forth on the name change, because I’ve struggled with the same thing-leaving behind the last name I’ve had for 30 years. Your thoughts on it help me feel even more comfortable with my decision to take his last name. Congratulations, enjoy the weeks leading up to the wedding, have a beautiful wedding day, and enjoy the start to your life together as a married couple! (And I fully support the occasional splurge on a nice bottle of Scotch; perhaps there can be a post on that in the future, as we struggle with the occasional part of that ;-)

  26. Congratulations, again, Ali! You and Barclay are going to do great in this marriage. Just wait until the first time someone other than Barclay calls you, “Mrs. Martin.” When someone first called me, “Mrs. Brejcha,” (my Dad), I said, “Oh, no! That’s Robert’s mother! I’m Beverly Brejcha!” I still feel that way. I kept my Ebright name, and go by Beverly Ebright Brejcha on business cards, registrations, etc. I couldn’t bear to leave it behind. Even now, after being a Brejcha for 47 years, six months and two days. (Robert tells me every day how long we’ve been married! Always makes me smile.) I love being The Brejchas, or Mr. and Mrs. Brejcha when Robert and I are together … just don’t stick me with Mrs. Brejcha when I’m alone. I love being Beverly Brejcha. Just don’t confuse me with Robert’s mother! (I miss Adeline terribly! She was the best mother-in-law ever! And Charlie was the best possible father-in-law!) I truly got lucky, like you, Ali! I really enjoyed visiting with Barclay’s parents at the family engagement party. =) I look forward to seeing them again at the wedding. Please, keep posting about the exciting (and everyday) adventures of The Martins!

  27. More people should approach love and marriage from your standpoint/viewpoint. So eloquent and sensible. I think your love will be forever. God bless and look forward to the wedding pics!

  28. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post. Don’t put kids off if you know you want to have them….make it a priority, as you never know if it may be difficult or easy. I have no idea your ages (you just mention finding love later in life). My husband and I are so lucky to have a 10-year-old son but went through lots of trying and losses….as we waited till later with schooling and careers. So we have for years always advised couples to not put it off (as our modern day society often does). So exciting, congratulations!!! My husband and I have been together since we were 20….married for 18 years now (I’m 45 now). Life flies by….enjoy the simplest moments:)

  29. Love this!! and girl yes you are going to LOOOVE being married!!

    The 2-10 kids thing cracks me up, my hubby always says something with the number 7–either 7, 17, 77…obviously all very attainable lolol

  30. Just beautiful. ❤ Cheers to you and Barclay!

  31. Well, this post is just heart-warming, an affirmation of love, marriage, family, trust, sharing, and all good things. It should go viral throughout the universe!! Your joy is contagious.

  32. I so adored this post so much!! Sounds like you two are working on a lot of marital issues that all of us deal with all the time. My hubby & I celebrated our 43rd anniversary last week. Our life has had lots of laughter as well as tears (lost 3 baby boys) but we had two beautiful girls who married & gave us 5 grands (3 boys & 2 girls) along with fabulous son in law’s!! We so love our family so much!!!
    The only advice we would give you is that we have a Banner in our house that says, Love is a Decision.Every day we make a decision to love one another. Also, on somethings we agree to disagree on and that is OK.. Our daughter’s saw us disagree and deal with one another fairly, never sabotaging one another. We so agree that we are committed to each other and honor one another daily. We often laugh at the committed statement (because we are pretty crazy together in a good way) but we acknowledge that ours is a true partnership. Also, we love God and make him a part of our marriage, always!
    Best wishes for you two and God bless your union!!

  33. Such a nice post! On May 15th- 35 years ago my husband and I had our first date! We were babies just out of high school but it was the beginning of a wild and wonderful ride. We will celebrate 29 years of marriage in June, have 3 wonderful children, a crazy terrier, and still call each other best-friend. Wishing you all the BEST!

  34. What beautiful thoughts :) thanks for sharing!

    My thoughts on the name change, I immigrated to my husband’s home country (UK) immediately after our wedding and so name change documents were completely bottom of my list with all the Visa document craziness and so I can attest: it doesn’t really matter!

    I called myself by my married name socially and on job applications long before any of my official documents were changed and have just slowly changed things over the last 3 years, as long as you have a marriage certificate hanging about if someone asks for it you can call yourself whatever you want ;) not worth the stress people make of it. My first document in my married name was my UK driving license, the majority of my Canadian documentation still has my maiden name now to be honest! That being said, it is pretty fun to change stuff and makes it all more “official” :) but it’s not like you have to do it all immediately in a wave of papers and panick :)

  35. Having been married for 52 years, I so envy your new joy and enthusiasm! As that lessens over the years, I hope you continue to enjoy the love, friendship and companionship as I have done. Congratulations for a long and happy life!

  36. You mentioned doing things such as laundry together implying. 50-50 you will find that some things you’ll do will be that, others will be 60/40 most will be 90-10, but the other things will be 10/90. And a few things will be ALL yours or ALL his. Which ones may surprise you. Sharing the load doesn’t mean each does half of everything it means each doing their share and more importantly each doing all that’s needed. An accident or illness may mean one of you being 95% for months or longer. The rest you have good ideas on things, but don’t cling to hard to those theories, what actually unfolds will be far better. ( we are getting ready to start year 38 ) best wishes.

  37. Such a beautiful post and one of my favorites! Would love to read more posts like this. I admire your relationship and the outlook you both have. Congratulations!

  38. Ali,
    I am so happy for you and Barclay and the dogs. I just wanted to say that you’re going to need some private time more than you think you’re going to need. Its good for both of you because you’re individuals and you’ve spent most of your adult life living alone, so it just becomes so incredibly important please don’t forget this. And date night every week the same night just go out together and have a romantic evening or you can just talk to each other with no distractions, love always Jennifer

  39. I used Miss to Mrs when I got married. It is a super handy and relatively inexpensive ($30?) tool to change your name. You fill it in once and it populates all the forms. Then it tells you what order to change it, since most states require s specific process. It made the name change seamless for me.

  40. I wish you both all the best for your future together!

  41. Many congratulations to you both Ali, it’s exciting and scary to leap into marriage together. My words to you would be marriage is different for every couple and unique to you two, so be you. No one else knows how to be you, so trust your heart and his! Knowing how to be married means so many different things but living each day together as if you’re meeting for the first time is a good start. Be considerate, be curious, be passionate and be gentle, feel the wonder and then give each other space. A lifetime of blessings to you both.

  42. Congratulations- I loved reading this post! I married my best friend too (29 years ago). When I read this post – it reminds me of me and my husband’s relationship. Your words show your wisdom; as the foundation you build will support you in those harder times (for us it was job changes and infertility to name a few). Marriage is the most rewarding part of my life; and everything you list sounds like I could have written it! It’s an exhilarating marathon – and one that needs to be celebrated regularly. The best advice I received on my wedding day was from my Grandpa. He said to each of us, “whenever you are upset with your spouse, go away by yourself, pray, and ask, what did I do to contribute this this issue? Then apologize for your part and move on.”. Despite all the books I’ve read, and advice I have received – this is the BEST advice that has made us one very happy couple. Kim

  43. Goodness, could you two be any cuter? It sounds like you two have one of the most important qualities of any relationship in spades–the ability to reflect *together* on your experiences and use that to drive your future choices. Planning, enjoying the moments while you’re in them, and building something together never, ever gets old, and if life throws you curves, like you said–there’s someone to help shoulder the load. Wishing you the very best :) (from a long-time reader who is coming up on fifteen years of adventuring with a wonderful guy, eleven of them married)

  44. Wonderful post. It is work being married but if both people work at it it is wonderful.

  45. This is adorable, your excitement and happiness is palpable!


  46. I adored this post, Ali! I am in the same season of life (getting married October 7) and we have not lived in the same city yet and are waiting to do so until we are married (or a few weeks beforehand). It was lovely to read about y’all experience. I wanted to ask a bit more about the Enneagram… did you both purchase the codes on the main website? Did you use a free version? I think something like that would be great for my fiance and I to go through and would love to hear how y’all approached it to get the most out of your results/conversations about the results.

  47. congrats on your engagement and wedding in couple weeks!
    if you want an easy way to change your name, check out HitchSwitch.
    that’s the service I used when I got married and it was the easiest thing ever!!

  48. Congratulations! God bless you both on your new adventure. You’re an inspiration to all that reads your post, I know you are to me!

  49. My husband did not think I loaded the dishwasher correctly. Finally one day I said, “Fine you load it”. It has been 10 years and I have not loaded the dishwasher since. Don’t be afraid to admit your flaws, you never know what good may come from it :)

  50. Aww you and Barclay are so sweet! I feel like I know you even though we’ve never met and I’m up here in Western Canada. I’ve been married to my husband for almost 17 years, two cats and no kids and very happy. I think the best advice I got from anyone was from my mom “Just be there for each other and never go to bed mad”. So far so good.
    Congratulations and best wishes for many happy years together!!

    Laura Korhonen (formerly Chapman)–yes I chose to take an unpronounceable name! FYI, it’s pronounced like it looks Core-Hoe-Nen. I used to have a picture of an apple core + garden hoe + NEN on my desk so my coworkers would know how to pronounce it. :) My favourite was Drew, the lovely Scottish man who sat behind me, he just kind of jumbled all the letters together “Kronyn”! LOL