Gimme Some Oven

What I’m Looking For In A Guy

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Alright, I’m back with another post about being single. And while today’s topic is one that I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined I’d be posting online for the whole wide world to see, I’m feeling spontaneous and going for it. Partly because:

1. I’ve been asked the same question three times in the last week, and probably 100+ times since beginning this series — “Well what are you looking for in a guy nowadays?”

2. It’s been awhile since I’ve really sat down and thought through my answer, as it evolves a bit from year to year.

3. I think it would be quite spectacular to have this URL printed out on business cards to whip out super-fast ninja-style when someone asks the question. Boom.

So here’s my “list” on January 23, 2014. It’s probably a slightly different list than I would have given a year ago. Definitely a different list than 10 years ago. And I have no doubt that as time goes on, it will continue to evolve still. But at least for today, here’s my description for what I’m looking for in a guy (or a husband).

What I'm Looking For In A Guy (Husband) |
My freshman dorm room door, where my roommate and I posted our “list” about what we were looking for in a boyfriend. Please direct your attention to #11 — “Loves FOOD”. :)

The Infamous “Lists”

Ok, ok, you all know me. I couldn’t dive in without giving just a wee bit of background first, especially on the topic of the all too famous “lists” that single people like to make. You know, The List. The checklist about what you’re looking for in a guy or girl.

For me, they began back in the days of M.A.S.H (anyone?), which my friends and I faithfully scribbled on church bulletins each Sunday when we were supposed to be listening to the sermon. Then they evolved into high school quizzes from Seventeen and giggling slumber party lists to decide on a homecoming date. Then in college, apparently my roommate and I decided (in all of our 19-year-old wisdom) to post an actual “list” on our dorm room door about what we were looking for in a boyfriend. (To which a group of our guy friends responded with a list of their own — see above.)  Then in my twenties, the lists got more serious as I would have long, heartfelt conversations with friends and mentors about what I was looking for in a husband.

And then…I got really annoyed with these kind of lists. Still probably am. But I’ll make an exception today.

To be honest, I was always a bit of an “old soul” as a kid and never really got swept up in celebrity crushes or unrealistic dreams about what sort of guy I’d actually want to marry. (Well, with the exception of Tim Riggins. The door’s always open for you, Taylor Kitsch.)  But without a doubt, my “list” has still evolved over the years, especially as I have watched many, many friends get married and walk through their first decade or two of marriage together — more often than not to amazing spouses who did not precisely fit their lists. In fact, based on that I’m now pretty much expecting the unexpected if I meet a great guy. (I know, just watch me marry someone who’s obsessed with outdoor camping and and cars and cats.)

But to be honest, my wish list for a guy is now much shorter than it used to be. Mostly because I’ve learned how to sort out what the “negotiables” and “non-negotiables” are for me. Some of those lessons come from dating and watching friends’ relationships, but most come from getting to know myself. I’m far from looking for Prince Charming, knowing that I’m certainly not Princess Charming all the time. :)  But I’d like to think there’s a guy out there who could be a cool fit for me, and me for him, and that we could spend a marriage learning (key word – learning) how to love one another really well and bring out the best in each other.

So anyway, for inquiring minds who might want to know,  here’s my list.

I’m looking for a guy who is:

1. Kind

Like, naturally kind. Not kind just because he thinks it’s the right thing to do, or because he thinks it will benefit him in some way, but deep-down kind.

I think my standards for this come from being raised in the Midwest where — maybe I’m biased — I think we seem to have a surplus of these kind of guys. They are the guys who genuinely want to know how you are doing. They are the guys who lend a hand or give to help someone without thinking twice. They are the guys who quite simply have what I think of as “character”, who you trust and really want to be around.

It’s a hard one to explain, but when I meet a guy who I feel is genuinely kind, it is one of the most attractive things to me. Actually, I’d probably go so far as to say it’s the most attractive thing to me.

2. A Good Conversationalist

Alternative title for this one? That awesome mix of Smart + Curious Thoughtful.

I believe all of those things come together to form a good conversationalist, which is a total non-negotiable for me. Actually, let’s frame that more positively — I absolutely adore a guy I enjoy talking to.

I know girls sometimes get a bad rap for being the ones who always “want to talk”. But I quite frankly can’t imagine marrying a guy who doesn’t want to talk. The coolest guys I know (and have dated) are the ones who love the art of conversation, and are always interested in really getting to know people and what’s happening in the world. And who don’t shy away from a good conversation.

I mean, let’s be real. Looks? Sex? Careers? Hair? There are so many things about relationships that probably won’t be a major factor when we’re both 80. But being able to look each other in the eye and talk about the big, the small, the serious, the funny, the difficult, the exciting, the hopeful things about life? Call me crazy, but that’s one of the things I’m most looking forward to in a marriage. To have a guy I love to talk to as we begin our relationship together, all the way until we’re holding hands talking in a nursing home as we end our lives together? That’s something I dream about.

And all the better if he’s a bit of a funny lad, since I tend to take life a little (ok, a lot) too seriously at times. ;)

3. A Thoughtful Christian

People might assume that this is an obvious one on the list for me, but it’s probably the most nuanced of them all. Or maybe it’s the most straightforward of them all. Basically, I consider myself a Christian, and would love to find a guy who says the same. Quite simply, I’m looking to marry a guy who’s interested in learning how to follow Jesus.

That said, I’m well aware that the “C” word encompasses a vast array of people with different backgrounds, different traditions, different viewpoints (theologically, politically, relationally, you name it), and more. And to each, his or her own. Faith is such a personal thing, and I have full respect for how everyone lives that out in a way that’s true to who they are. But for me, I’m looking for a guy who is quite simply — as Jesus said — really interested in seeking to love the Lord and his neighbor as himself. Someone who gets that life is not always black and white, but who believes that there is a purpose and hope and Creator behind it all. Someone who prays, someone who is a part of a community seeking to follow Christ, and someone who humbly wants to learn and serve Him.

That said, this one is probably the one item on the list that whittles down the pool of guys out there the most, because I’m not just looking for a guy who goes to church. Or who checks the “Christian” box on I’m looking for a guy who really and thoughtfully lives a life of faith, and often those guys seem harder to find.

But that said, I know plenty of awesome guys out there like this who exist — who are inquisitive, and hopeful, and open-minded, and honest, and real about faith — and anytime I’m around them I’m reminded how important and attractive and exciting that sort of faith is to me. Especially those who have really wrestled with faith and have come out still wrestling but worshipping. So forgive me if I’m not articulating it well, but this is something I just really hope and look for in a guy. (And big bonus if he lives in KC and can come to my church, which is just about my favorite place on earth. But I know, I know, that’s a “negotiable”. I’m flexible too.)  :)

4. Attractive

You didn’t think I’d leave this one off the list, did you?!

Heck yes! I never been one of those girls to just look for a guy who has a “great personality”. I want a guy who I’m attracted to. Or really, let’s be real, a guy who I want to kiss.

I went through that stage in my early twenties when I thought that the noble thing to do was give guys a “chance” with dating, even if there was zero chemistry. But that didn’t last long, because I’m pretty much convinced that physical attraction is a must in getting things started. Sure, it can grow the more you get to know someone, but there has to be at least something there to start with. And after being single this long, I damn well hope that I find a guy who makes my heart beat a little faster when I see him. :)

That said, though, anything on a “list” for physically attraction has become pretty much negotiable. 10 years ago, I would have said tall, dark, handsome and skinny. (Yep, was always drawn to the basketball players.)  Nowadays, I’d just say someone I find attractive, who is at least a few inches taller than me. I know. Height should probably be on the negotiable list, but I’m really hoping it doesn’t have to be.

I feel like it should also be noted that as I get older, I tend to find more guys attractive whom I might not have considered years ago. But the fact still remains that some guys are more attractive to me, and others are more attractive to others. It all somehow seems to miraculously balance out in the world. But I’m definitely looking for a guy who I can tell my friends I think is “cute”.

5. Someone Who’s Been Through Something Tough

Ok, this one may sound weird. But I kind of hope that I find someone who has been through something difficult in life. Not that I wish that on anyone, but I feel that things like heartbreak, loss, pain, injury, grief, and disappointment have this way of shaping us like nothing else in life. And — in a weird way, I would love to meet someone who has been through that.

Partly because I’d love to know that they have some sort of grid for navigating through rough times if (make that when) they come for us as a couple, and that they won’t run away. But also because I think that tough times build character, and I’m looking for someone who doesn’t fear the worst but knows how to press through and find goodness on the other side.

See? I told you I was way too realistic for my own good. But the interesting thing about being single in your thirties is that I’ve not only had the chance to watch friends go through their first years of marriage, but I’ve watched them also walk through really rough times and separation and divorce and know how confusing and difficult those times can be. And how helpful it is when someone knows a bit what it’s like before something terrible happens. Not to say that someone who has lived a charmed life can’t have character or perseverance or faith or strength to make it through. But I would prefer to date and marry someone who has been there at least once before.

The good news about dating in your thirties is that I think those sort of people outweigh the others, thanks to good ol’ time.

6. A Traveler

This one could arguably be on the “negotiable” list, but I really really hope that it isn’t. I would love to marry a man who loves to travel!!!

I think this ties back into #2, as someone who’s curious. The older I get, the more I really want to make traveling and seeing the world a priority in my life. I know that different seasons bring opportunities for travel, and Disney World or a trip to visit the grandparents might be the most realistic option when you have young kids. But even then, I hope to budget time and money in my life to go places. And I’d love a guy who wants to do the same.

7. Wants Kids

The thing I didn’t quite expect about turning 30 was seeing the possibility of having kids called into question. I know I’m still “young”, or so I’m told, but it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to over the past few months. And while I’m working really hard on starting to make myself “go there” and really think through and come to peace with the reality of what my life would be like if I don’t get the opportunity to have kids, it has also made me realize how much I still do hope to have kids.

So if I get married at an age when that’s possible, I really hope to marry a guy who’s on the same page with that as well. Parenthood freaks me out, but it would be an honor and a true gift to get to try it out, especially with a great guy as our kids’ dad.

8. Loves…

  • his family — very important, no matter how awesome or dysfunctional they may be
  • his job — would really love a guy who enjoys and finds meaning in what he does for a living
  • to serve — volunteering, raking leaves for the neighbors, helping with dishes, you name it — service is sexy
  • to give — especially time and money, freely and thoughtfully
  • food!!! — I mean, hello, I need a taste-tester!
  • lukewarm food — although let’s be real, most of the blog food I eat is lukewarm after photographing  :)
  • to have fun — someone who really knows how to laugh and enjoy life is a must

9. Someone I Really Like!

And respect. And admire. And think is rad. And just in general enjoy being with.

I’ve dated plenty of guys who quite simply didn’t fully fit that bill. I didn’t really like them. And it wasn’t fun. And it wasn’t worth the time away from my friends. So until I find a guy who I really like, you get to enjoy more single posts from the ol’ blog. But I’m hoping that there’s some guy out there who I’ll really like who might change that eventually. I guess we will see. :)

The End

I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but that seems close enough for now.

I will say, I never thought I’d be making a “list” for a guy at age 30. But I guess the good news is that I at least like this list much better than the one I had a decade ago. So for all inquiring minds, I hope you enjoy it.

(And please know that this is NOT a call for you to go emailing this post to any and all single men you know. I’m doing just fine.)  :)

So to all of you single and married and “in a relationship” folks — what is on your lists? What life experiences would you add to this conversation?

Here are my other posts about being single:

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40 comments on “What I’m Looking For In A Guy”

  1. Wow! Totally thought I was reading my biography!!! Thanks for sharing as it gave me some piece of mind to know that there’s others out there like me!!

  2. A good friend once told me the only thing on my list should be someone who treats me right, everything else is negotiable. It seems a little crazy, I’m a picky person. However, now that I’ve found such a perfect partner, I think that first one might the only one that did matter.

  3. Thanks for sharing Ali! This definitely made me think about my list which has most definitely changed over the last fifteen years, but now that I am 30 I’d say my list includes (in no particular order)…
    -A genuine Christian
    -Wants kids
    -Someone I want to be in the trenches with…I’m not even fully sure how to articulate this one but life is going to be difficult and I want to marry somebody that I want with me during those difficult times
    -A hard worker that gives his best…I want to marry somebody that doesn’t do life halfway but gives it their all. Ten years ago I would have been really picky about a guy’s career but now what he does isn’t as important as how he does it
    -Someone I enjoy spending time with…because there are a lot of years between 30 and 80 and I don’t want to not enjoy the time we spend together

    That’s what comes to mind right away although I’m sure if I thought about it a little bit longer I might have one or two other things to add to the list! But I have way fewer non-negotiables now than I did when I was 21!

  4. Ali, I loved reading your list! I’ve only been married for one year, but my list included things like finding a man who respects me enough to let me disagree and values my opinion, a guy who is able to have a great time without spending a ton of money (I like a creative fun loving guy),and someone who inspires me to be the best person I can be. After being single for a long time some people told me to “give up the list” because I was never going to find someone with my “standards.” That is just crazy talk-there is nothing wrong with having a “list” and making it helped me to know myself better. Oh, and for the record…it took me exactly 3 dates (after a completely blind first date) to be able to check off every single thing on my list :)

  5. You’ve got a great list going there, Ali. My list, about 45 years ago, included two more traits that I knew I had to have: A patient man (I knew he’d have to be patient to put up with me … and I got the most patient man in the world! Thank you, God!!); and a man with a sense of humor that matches mine. It’s very important that you both find the same things funny. Too often, what some people see as “funny,” I find cruel. I got lucky, and found a man who sees the world through the same “funny filter” that I use.

    It pays to hold out for everything on your list! Forty-four years, two months, and 13 days (He tells me every day how long we’ve been married. So sweet!)after getting married, I wouldn’t change a thing I had on my list. I got, not a perfect man, but the perfect man for me!

  6. What a fantastic list! I had a pre-John list similar to yours, with character things as well as a few appearance notes (please be handsome and healthy, please please please). And while the appearance things were the ones that were MOST apparent at first, the character items were what ultimately won me over (with John) and obviously rank MUCH higher on my “list” then and now. I so hope and pray this list is satisfied for you! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing. Such a great thing to share with other women who are also seeking relationships. So glad yerrrr my friend!

  7. I had a conversation with a friend about this very issue just this evening. (Actually, maybe she brought it up because she’d already read this post.)

    I think this is a very realistic list of desires. My list as a soon-to-be 32-year-old single guy is pretty much the same (probably wouldn’t’ve come up with #5 on my own, but I like it, and the luke-warm food thing is pretty specific to you).

    My problem, though, is that I no longer think my list is what’s keeping me single. It’s the lists of the single women I pursue, who seem to me to be much less realistic than you. I don’t expect them to be perfect, but it’s unacceptable to them when I’m not.

  8. Thanks for sharing, I know the “list” is rather personal, but its nice to see that others are our there looking for the same types of things. Your list is actually quite similar to mine. As I’ve dated well into my twenties I’ve also learned 3 very important compatibility issues that just have to be there for me. 1) Having the same concept of FUN. Definitely not all of the same interests, but the ability to find enjoyment out of the same things. 2) The motivation of our hearts comes from the same place, or at least from a place that is meaningful to one another. 3) Understanding, and more importantly so, APPRECIATING one another’s quirks.

  9. I remember thinking of these lists all the time. My husband was not at all what I expected, but in retrospect, he redefined a few of my “needs” with things I didn’t even know I was looking for. My favorite three:

    1. He enjoys a lot of down time, but is an amazingly efficient problem solver and a little bit of a hustler when something needs to be accomplished.

    2. He’s not a conversationalist, but when he says something, it’s because it’s important, and people really tend to listen.

    3. He’s an atheist, but is hands down the most moral person I’ve ever met.

  10. Great list! You are a class act, friend!

  11. Hey Alison, so vulnerable of you to put this out there. I know lots of guys adore you :) Keep in mind no one is perfect. Emotional stability and mental health are huge. But all in all it is a leap of faith!! Vulnerability and acceptance is huge!! :)

    Good luck to you!

  12. This probably sort of goes along with #9, but — someone with whom I feel comfortable/relaxed. Not feeling I have to impress the guy with wit or energy.

  13. Girl… I think your list is awesome. It’s so important to have a few things that you KNOW you must have, and it seems to me that you have chosen those things wisely. Don’t let anyone tell you that such a guy doesn’t exist – he totalllllllly does. I also think your comments on him being a Christian were very well written and something that has made all the difference in our marriage (we are both Christians, in the way that you described). Also, you mentioned travel as high up there – maybe there’s a guy in a far far away land just waiting for you to hop on a plane and meet him :) Who knows?

    I’ve been following your blog for a little while now and just felt compelled to comment today. I love your perspective/attitude about this and be encouraged that HIS timing will be perfect :)

    And…. all your food looks amazing. Ok, the end :)

  14. Great post! I know lists sometimes get a bad wrap, and it’s the lists that are a wee bit superficial (IMHO) that give all lists a bad rap (you know the ones I mean, like “He must make $x per year, must have a new car etc etc”.). Your list is thoughtful, considerate and realistic and I like to think mine is much the same.

    Kindess goes a long way. Loving your family (and I’m not talking biological family, necessarily – I know a few guys who don’t have close bio families so have made their own from friends or non-direct family members). Loving what you do (or if you don’t, really trying to make it happen).

    For me, a big must-have is a lover of animals! I love my dog and seeing a guy who loves animals or owns animals is a massive attraction for me.

    I’m loving your posts about being single and relationships – look forward to reading more!

  15. Ali, Dan said to me this morning, “Did you see Ali’s LIST post!? You’ve got to read it.” And I’m so glad he did because do I have the guy for you… Just kidding.

    Seriously, this is a brilliant post. It’s true we don’t always end up with what we expected. Yet what I’ve found is that if you’re open-hearted, the things that weren’t high on the priority list (or even things you considered a compromise at first) can end up being the characteristics you love the most about your spouse. Compromising does not always equal, lowering your standards. I think most of us know what we want, but don’t really know what we need.

    He’s out there girl. And when he comes into your life, I know you’ll both be what the other person needs and wants. Mwah!!

    • How true Sommer!!


    • Sommer – So true! And I know you through Bethany Lee Jones… Do you know Ali personally? Because (no joke), I really do have a man for her!!! :) My brother! Only bummer is he’s in Michigan. He does love to travel, maybe he would move??? :)

  16. So, at 43, I’m practically ANCIENT compared to you – and, I’ve been married. Twice. (sigh) As I’ve started to venture into the dating world again, I do a lot of thinking about my list. I’m applauding #4 – I was just having a conversation with a friend about a guy who seems normal, balanced, etc…that I’m just NOT attracted to. It matters…and it’s totally okay that it matters! Anywhoooo…thanks for this awesome post!

  17. Hi, Ali! Found this post over on Pinterest, and I’m so glad to connect with you! I turned 30 in September, and I’m in the same season. I, too, have been thinking a lot about my “list.” In fact, I recently wrote this post about it:
    It’s definitely a challenge when life doesn’t look the way you expected, but I suppose most anyone can say that no matter what season they’re in. God’s ways are not our ways. And yet, His plan is perfect. Looking forward to reading some of your other posts! :)

  18. being able to look each other in the eye and talk about the big, the small, the serious, the funny, the difficult, the exciting, the hopeful things about life? Call me crazy, but that’s one of the things I’m most looking forward to in a marriage. To have a guy I love to talk to as we begin our relationship together, all the way until we’re holding hands talking in a nursing home as we end our lives together? That’s something I dream about.

    And all the better if he’s a bit of a funny lad, since I tend to take life a little (ok, a lot) too seriously at times. ;)

  19. Ooops! Please forgive the last comment. You can delete! I accidentally only pasted in part of it. Was trying to say how much I liked that section, but I only pasted your quote! Awkward! ;) HAHA

  20. After my first marriage failed, I made a similar list and said I wouldn’t settle for someone who didn’t meet every single thing. My list was 26 points long… and Nick met all but one (I wanted someone older than me… he’s 3 months younger!)

    I’m a big fan of lists and love that you shared yours!

  21. I love how you explained #3. Particularly “those who have really wrestled with faith and have come out still wrestling but worshipping.” I feel exactly the same way.

  22. Ali,

    I saw this accidentally, as I had originally been searching the internet for advice about eating well on a strict budget — I graduated with degrees in music, after all — and came across your lovely triple Aldi posts. I then somehow found myself here.

    That was hours ago, but this post has been rattling around in my brain so much since, I had to comment.

    I have been wrestling with this very question, albeit from the other side, and I am heartened to see that there are women whose lists very closely mirror mine, especially in the details of point three. Online identities can only show so much, but you seem like a beautiful-hearted person. Keep being that person!

    One thing I would add to this that I encounter (or don’t, as the case may be) all the time: Maturity. This is not to say I am a paragon of maturity myself, but I have dealt with enough Girls to know that I am very much not attracted to them. I need a Woman — with that mix of humility, patience, and the perspective which comes from experience (i.e. what you were saying in point five).

    I believe that many of my failed relationships, such as they were, would have been successful if one or both of us had been more willing to put the other first and assume the best in each other.

    I appreciate the work you are doing, and this list in particular… it certainly gives me many things to think about.

  23. Hi Ali, I love this post, mainly because in coming up with this awesome, thoughtful list, you are taking control. You are prioritizing what you want in a husband, operating from a stance of “I am worthy”. I am in my early 40’s and single and I wish for a partner who I can have great conversations with, feel fully loved by, and who will let me love him fully, among other attributes. But I don’t feel worthy. So I have been single for 12 years, and since I feel so bad about myself, I can’t imagine being in a relationship. You have inspired me. I hope that one day I will feel worthy of partnership, and be as open and brazen about what I want as you. Thank you!

  24. HAHAHAHAHA, yes I am laughing with you. I thought this was so funny mainly because I am divorced after 25 years of marriage and those lists are ever changing to say the least. You are on the right track and hopefully the guy who comes along and sweeps you off your feet will at least have a few if not all of those traits. The only thing is, while they may meet those guidelines now wait about 10 years after you have lived with him for a while and you will sometimes begin to think when did those traits begin to fade away? Why didn’t I notice it? You never really know someone until you have lived with them. That is the true test of time. Some will come close to staying within the guidelines and others will slowly creep away from them and some will just kick them to the curb right after the “I DO’S” Tragic sometimes. So good luck Ali, I am rooting for you and I hope that you find a good and kind man to spend thew rest of your life with who will be a loving Father to your children. Best of Luck!

  25. I can say after reading this that your “list” is not one of unrealistic expectations. Many of the things you listed SHOULD NOT be negotiable. I think there is a difference between a preference and a necessary and every man or woman should know those non-negotiables that are necessary. I am approaching one year of marriage and can tell you that all of my pleas and prayers from a young age have been exceeded – God completely surpassed even what I hoped for in my husband. No, I am not putting my husband on a pedestal or saying he is perfect, but I just daily am reminded that God hears/heard my heart and knew the perfect timing and the right time to bring my best friend.

    From what I’ve gathered of your blog posts you are a woman of joy, hospitality and goal-minded. I am sure that some man has a list of non-negotiables that align with your character and I pray that him living a life for God will eventually connect to yours.

  26. I love your list, and I love you. I had a list, too, and finally I was able to check off the things that were important to me. Probably within a couple weeks of meeting him, I knew! He’s 3 years younger. Yup! :)

  27. I made a list too. Not just of what I want, but what I can offer in a relationship. (I figure I’d have a better chance of negotiating with faith / God / Karma / Who knows what else is out there) if I have something to contribute as well. I found that in a lot of ways I am looking for someone who can offer similar attributes (background, education, etc.) or complement mine (i.e., someone who is more extroverted to balance my introvertedness or someone who is very masculine since I am very feminine, etc.). Well, I’ve been wishin’ and prayin’, plannin’ and dreamin’… Something’s gotta give already.

  28. I absolutely love # 9. It really just sums up everything. My list is in my head and entirely too specific. Maybe that’s why I’m single!

  29. This is great! My revised list is pretty similar! My college freshman list had about 27 things on it haha. Going through something tough is one of my tops!

  30. Dang, Ali, that K guy who commented is fine. There he is, girl! Get him!

  31. Wow. I’m impressed. Seriously, by the time I was 30 I’d had 3 kids and knew I’d made a huge mistake in my partner.  I actually ‘knew’ that in the first year, but I was persistent. 

    You’ve chosen a better path. 

  32. i am 32 and just read this been really really depressed lately not really ever dating and going to church all my life with my christian values seems so hopeless i look in the world and see how easy it is for girls to just find someone i dont understand it but reading this really really helped me and i dont feel sooo bad thank you bec i have traveled the world and met the most amazing men but i felt they were going to fast and i wasnt ready its hard to explain but here I am and thank you so much for your blog

  33. Oh my heavens this is so me!!!!!! I felt like I was reading my diary!! I will be turning 30 in October so I am very glad that I have found your blog and been able to read it before then! You are doing a great thing… empowering women that might not feel so empowered… turning 30 and being single can be scary! So with all that mumble what I mean is Thank You for this blog!!! It’s so great to know there are so many others out there!!!

  34. Love this note

  35. I just came across your blog today……my how the universe works! This is such a great post that I can definitely relate to. I am 32, single woman, no children yet (waiting for marriage) and I am patiently waiting for Mr. Right. Just like you did, I made a list being detailed as possible (not too crazy) but I swear I feel like I have literally dated every type of man there is out there so I for sure know what I do and don’t want in a man/relationship. I really enjoyed reading this post and am looking forward to reading more!

  36. You are beautiful, I stumbled across this and I am humbled. You are a very special woman, wow!!!

  37. Naahhhh – You want a man with PURPOSE and DIRECTION in life! The rest is secondary. If a man doesn’t have purpose and direction you will start naggin’ (shit testing) him and probably ruin the relationship.

  38. So seven years later is when I discover this blog. Are you married now? Beautiful list